WHY WOMEN SHOULDN'T TAKE MEN SHOPPING
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring
and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my
wife is like most women - she loves to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following
letter from the local Target.
Dear Mrs.Hudson
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion
in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been
forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints
against your husband, Mr. J.Hudson are listed below and are
documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15:
Took 24 boxes of condoms and
randomly put them in other
people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2:
Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.
3. July 7:
He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
leading to the women's
restroom.
4. July 19:
Walked up to an employee and told her
in an official voice, 'Code 3 in
Housewares. Get on it right
away? This caused the employee to leave her
assigned station
and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in
turn
resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose
time and costing the company money.
5. August 4:
Went to the Service Desk and
tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layby.
6. August 14:
Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign
to a carpeted area.
7. August 15:
Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
children shoppers
he'd invite them in if they would bring
pillows and blankets from the
bedding department to which
twenty children
obliged.
9. September 4:
Looked right into the security camera and
used it as a mirror while he
picked his nose.
10. September 10:
While handling guns in
the hunting department, he asked the clerk where
the antidepressants were.
11. October 3:
Darted around the store
suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission
Impossible' theme.
12. October 6
In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look'
by using different sizes of funnels.
And
last, but not least:
15. October 23
Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, then yelled very
loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet
paper in here!!!
One of the clerks passed out.
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring
and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my
wife is like most women - she loves to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following
letter from the local Target.
Dear Mrs.Hudson
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion
in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been
forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints
against your husband, Mr. J.Hudson are listed below and are
documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15:
Took 24 boxes of condoms and
randomly put them in other
people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2:
Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.
3. July 7:
He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
leading to the women's
restroom.
4. July 19:
Walked up to an employee and told her
in an official voice, 'Code 3 in
Housewares. Get on it right
away? This caused the employee to leave her
assigned station
and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in
turn
resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose
time and costing the company money.
5. August 4:
Went to the Service Desk and
tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layby.
6. August 14:
Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign
to a carpeted area.
7. August 15:
Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
children shoppers
he'd invite them in if they would bring
pillows and blankets from the
bedding department to which
twenty children
obliged.
9. September 4:
Looked right into the security camera and
used it as a mirror while he
picked his nose.
10. September 10:
While handling guns in
the hunting department, he asked the clerk where
the antidepressants were.
11. October 3:
Darted around the store
suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission
Impossible' theme.
12. October 6
In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look'
by using different sizes of funnels.
And
last, but not least:
15. October 23
Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, then yelled very
loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet
paper in here!!!
One of the clerks passed out.
